1. |
DID
02:34
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Casually I drift and wander
farther from the sun
perfectly positioned past the
end of human sight
after passing Pluto I've
decided that I'm done
drift into the absence of the
tiniest of lights
Easily I watch the sordid
ship perform its task
trying to awaken something
sleeping in my heart
recently I've wished that I
had access to my past
I would try to get it if I
knew where I could start
I have got a plethora of
people in my brain
I have got a past that would drive
anyone insane
I have got a present full of
doubt and full of fear
I know that a better future's
getting really near
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2. |
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Alien uncertainty
abominable life
at the end it hurts to see
that toxic is my type
All I want is safety:
peace and rest and joy and love
All I need's a sanctuary
all I get is blood
If I am a demon
If I am a saint
the world is undecided -
very patiently I wait.
If I am a human
If I am a freak
If I'm welcome in this world or
If I shouldn't speak
If I am a stalker
If I am a perv
If I've only gotten every-
thing that I deserve
If I am an animal
If I am a man
If I should be celebrated
If I should be banned
If the world should let me live
or rather make me die
If I am a woman or a
really creepy guy
If I should continue
If I should resist
tear my flesh and sinews and
decide not to exist
whether I am welcome
whether I am shunned
whether I'm a genius
whether I am dumb
How I should be treated
whether I can live
If there's anything of value
in me still to give
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3. |
Ketamine Antipathy
03:14
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Waves are flowing through me
I was not unduly
criticized and allocated
wasted, wrecked and puny
Artistry surrounds me
poverty ungrounds me
save the sorry crying for
a man without a bounty
Calculating ambulating
coursing in my blood
Maybe I should take a break
I didn't know I could
Understanding anything
impossible and wrong
Feeling through the tethers try to
see where I belong
Empty of my body
Heavy of the mind
Can I be intelligent and
happy, true and kind?
Is the world a wrecker?
is this world a port
Are the facts of reality
what they would purport?
Oscillating diagrams
power in the skies
is it hard to stab me while you
look me in the eyes?
Terraform the planet
alienic world
no one understands how I could
ever be a girl
Suckle out the life-force
drain me all away
sorry that I have to be
alive and also gay
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4. |
Marley's House
02:51
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Shambling through Irithyll
with half of an HP
Eagerly await the day
that death will come for me
And in the moments just before
I'm cracked by human madness
A world of love appears to me
I know I've never had this
With synths and amps and DJ Decks
And talk of communism
And coffee, eggs and cheese and bread and
obvious autism
With waxing, waning, laughing, straining,
kissing barking girls
I think I'm in the safest place in
the entire world
And on the streets the cishets tell me
that I should be beaten
And on the news the cishets tell me
I'm some kind of demon
And in my house a cishet tries
to push into my room
She's dumb and blind and angry and she's
whiter than the moon
But somewhere out in Bushwick
there's a heaven on the Earth
Somewhere where I feel I have at
least an ounce of worth
Somewhere where I'm not a total
faggot fucking freak
where I can, for a moment,
feel the rest I always seek
And I don't know the future and
I hardly know the past
And I don't know if anything
is ever made to last
And I don't know if joy is something
that God will allow
All I know for sure is that I'm
very happy now
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5. |
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Life is pretty complicated
Life is pretty slow
effortlessly meandering I
wonder where to go
sex is mad ambiguous
like mist in humid air
elevating, concentrating,
knowing when and where
piecing it together isn't
easy - isn't hard
she's the great upsetter but she
merely plays her part
I'm the great oblivion -
the nothing-knowing fool
I talked to you for hours and
I think you're pretty cool
You're the leather jacket clothing
blacker than the night
I was overwhelmed by such an
admirable sight
I was worried you'd consider
me a fucking freak
You walked into the kitchen, saw me,
and began to speak
I don't really care if we can
never meet again
I don't really care if you won't
even be my friend
I don't really mind if I don't
even grace your thoughts
I'm glad that I had met you rather
than if I had not.
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